Just Go With It (Concerned about Your Firstborn as You Are About to Pop with Your Second Little Bean)

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Note: Soon after writing this post, I did, indeed, pop. Liam was born two days ago, and we are doing splendidly. He will meet Parker this afternoon. More updates to come, but for now, let’s go back in time:

As I write this, I am 39 weeks pregnant and feeling like I am about to pop any day now. I have been taking advantage of the extra time I was able to spend with my two-year-old son, Parker before baby Liam makes his appearance into this world.

I treasure the moments my first born son says, “Mommy hold me,” or when he hands me rocks on our morning walks.

Lately, as I watch Parker, I frequently wonder how he is going to react to a new baby brother. He is such a mama’s boy, and I sometimes feel that he understands more about what is going on than we give him credit for.

The other day, he put his hand on my stomach and said, “Baby coming soon,” which is what I have been telling him, but afterward, I swear I heard him say, “Don’t have him.” It was so quick that I am thinking maybe I misinterpreted his toddler jargon…or not. Either way, Liam is coming soon, and I am aware that our well-constructed routine is about to go haywire.

Although I am so excited about the upcoming birth of my second son, I also know that our worlds will never be the same and so much is about to change.

I think these thoughts as Parker crawls upon me and says, “I’m your monkey,” which quickly changes to him lying in my arms and saying, “I’m your baby.” This is a comment that he only started around a month ago, and again, I wonder if he is just being a funny little boy or if he knows something more.

I have heard various stories about how siblings react to a new baby. My mom loves telling the story about how I used to throw toys at my baby brother while he was nursing. Now I was only 18 months old, but this image of me, as a red-headed toddler, chucking toys at a baby’s head is an interesting one.

On the other hand, I have heard stories about children who loved their new sibling from the start and never wanted to leave their new sibling’s side.

The truth is, I have no idea how Mr. Parker is going to react, and this is just another aspect of motherhood that is beyond my control.

We do the best we can to love our children and do what we feel is best for them, and sometimes we just have to go with the flow and catch the pieces as they fall.

Lately, I have felt incredibly blessed. I can say, without a doubt, that I am happy. I am able to spend more time with my children while also maintaining my sense of self through writing and editing.

It is a time in my life when I took a leap, and things seemed to fall into place; however, I am well aware that I am in for a change, and it is going to be a crazy balancing act with two children in tow, while also working from home. I am well aware that it is not going to be all fairies and unicorns.

No one ever said it was ever going to be easy.

I have made my life simpler, and I have finally looked out for my own well-being more than I have in the past, but I am still aware that there are some adjustments to come, and only so many preparations can be made until you have to wait and let the chips fall where they may.

When Parker was born, my life changed in the most profound way, and I cannot even describe that change with words.

I have a feeling the arrival of Liam will feel the same on many levels, and my husband and I will adjust to this new, blessed life, just like we did before. It may take some time, but eventually, Parker will adjust too.

Like I mentioned before, sometimes you just have to go with it and let the chips fall where they may.

Suggestions for further reading:

Here is a blog post I wrote for Peace Quarters on how to raise resilient children.

Twice Blessed:Everything You Need to Know About Having a Second Child. Preparing Yourself, Your Marriage, and Your First Born for a Family of Four by Joan Leanard–This book is the best book I read about how to prepare for a second child.

I’m a Big Brother by Joanna Cole–This is the book we read to Parker about adding a baby to the family.

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